Centuries ago, it was believed
that something could be made holy
by singeing it with fire, letting
its blood drip into a cup to offer
on an altar with prayers and song.
A blessing once meant a marking,
the hand touched to the wound
to gentle its turn toward grace.
Under the well which gives water,
tunnels deep in the earth snake
through thorny bramble and rock,
seeking the root of things. Without
having known what it’s like to fumble
through darkness, would the pearl-
light of morning feel less of an
astonishment? Bodies that bore
a hundred hurts, that carved of
themselves an offering. A warbler
balances on the tip of a branch,
its weight barely enough to break it.
Out of time
Up betimes, and about eight o’clock by coach with four horses, with Sir J. Minnes and Sir W. Batten, to Woolwich, a pleasant day. There at the yard we consulted and ordered several matters, and thence to the rope yard and did the like, and so into Mr. Falconer’s, where we had some fish, which we brought with us, dressed; and there dined with us his new wife, which had been his mayde, but seems to be a genteel woman, well enough bred and discreet.
Thence after dinner back to Deptford, where we did as before, and so home, good discourse in our way, Sir J. Minnes being good company, though a simple man enough as to the business of his office, but we did discourse at large again about Sir W. Pen’s patent to be his assistant, and I perceive he is resolved never to let it pass.
To my office, and thence to Sir W. Batten’s, where Major Holmes was lately come from the Streights, but do tell me strange stories of the faults of Cooper his master, put in by me, which I do not believe, but am sorry to hear and must take some course to have him removed, though I believe that the Captain is proud, and the fellow is not supple enough to him. So to my office again to set down my Journall, and so home and to bed. This evening my boy Waynman’s brother was with me, and I did tell him again that I must part with the boy, for I will not keep him. He desires my keeping him a little longer till he can provide for him, which I am willing for a while to do.
This day it seems the House of Commons have been very high against the Papists, being incensed by the stir which they make for their having an Indulgence; which, without doubt, is a great folly in them to be so hot upon at this time, when they see how averse already the House have showed themselves from it.
This evening Mr. Povy was with me at my office, and tells me that my Lord Sandwich is this day so ill that he is much afeard of him, which puts me to great pain, not more for my own sake than for his poor family’s.
clock like a fishwife
we discourse at large
where I do not believe
am I supple enough in my art
to stir up a verse
from that soil
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Friday 6 March 1662/63.
Making a Living
From light to light, breath seeks a path
to brilliance unencumbered. What we endure
proves more than survival. To be spared—
really, what are the chances? No one’s anointed.
Tempered in leaves and ash, brine yields a coarse
and smoky salt. Time has worked this way too
on the planes of your face. From darkness
hammered on the anvils of the past, how
you remake the world each time determines
how you rise. Your first home's receded into
the archive, so you tend to think any venture
could be a homing. You choose to go out again
into the wide world, believing your life
is both the oldest and the newest song.
*
Making a Living
What you worked hard for, you know
you’ve earned. First author, clear byline.
Your name spelled correctly— how hard
could it be? It seems more than a lifetime,
this work of standing up for your due.
And yet you haven’t lost excitement for
things you still hope to do. Teach and write,
make books, read books, exchange ideas to find
elusive delight; discover how lives shaped
in heaviness and endurance might breathe.
Shed scales close as armor, feel the blade joy
can touch to your chest where it finds a place of
softness. Remember sweetness after years
of strain, how skies widen from light to light.
*
Flavored ice
Rose this morning early, only to try with intention to begin my last summer’s course in rising betimes. So to my office a little, and then to Westminster by coach with Sir J. Minnes and Sir W. Batten, in our way talking of Sir W. Pen’s business of his patent, which I think I have put a stop to wholly, for Sir J. Minnes swears he will never consent to it.
Here to the Lobby, and spoke with my cozen Roger, who is going to Cambridge to-morrow. In the Hall I do hear that the Catholiques are in great hopes for all this, and do set hard upon the King to get Indulgence. Matters, I hear, are all naught in Ireland, and that the Parliament has voted, and the people, that is, the Papists, do cry out against the Commissioners sent by the King; so that they say the English interest will be lost there. Thence I went to see my Lord Sandwich, who I found very ill, and by his cold being several nights hindered from sleep, he is hardly able to open his eyes, and is very weak and sad upon it, which troubled me much. So after talking with Mr. Cooke, whom I found there, about his folly for looking and troubling me and other friends in getting him a place (that is, storekeeper of the Navy at Tangier) before there is any such thing, I returned to the Hall, and thence back with the two knights home again by coach, where I found Mr. Moore got abroad, and dined with me, which I was glad to see, he having not been able to go abroad a great while. Then came in Mr. Hawley and dined with us, and after dinner I left them, and to the office, where we sat late, and I do find that I shall meet with nothing to oppose my growing great in the office but Sir W. Pen, who is now well again, and comes into the office very brisk, and, I think, to get up his time that he has been out of the way by being mighty diligent at the office, which, I pray God, he may be, but I hope by mine to weary him out, for I am resolved to fall to business as hard as I can drive, God giving me health.
At my office late, and so home to supper and to bed.
summertime ice to eat
is a hard indulgence
lost to cold nights
and the growing risk of a fall
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Thursday 5 March 1662/63.
Making a Living
Some things are simple, like kindness.
Like looking at instead of looking away,
standing as witness; finding ways to return
some grace in the harshness of the world.
You try to remind yourself you are not only
the things (you imagine) you lack. How else
could you honor the roster of unnamed
acts that made it possible for you to hold
your place in this moment? Yet you know
there are things you still need to deflect,
rephrase, insist on. Remember you
can rewrite the narrative, insist on your
truth. Walk into the room because it’s
true— you worked hard, you own it too.
*
Man of letters
Lay long talking with my wife about ordering things in our family, and then rose and to my office, there collecting an alphabet for my Navy Manuscript, which, after a short dinner, I returned to and by night perfected to my great content. So to other business till 9 at night, and so home to supper and to bed.
off collecting an alphabet
for my manuscript
I return by night
to my other night
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Wednesday 4 March 1662/63.
Making a Living
Remnant energies, sheltered in stone
through seasons of debt and sorrow.
War and rebuilding, then war again.
Fortresses chiseled with towers
from which sentries could witness how
wind turned the waters’ brined pages.
Repeat as cities hum into being
and warehouses fill with the resin
of trees. War today, war tomorrow.
What is the difference between
revolution and insurrection? History
might not want you to remember survival
shouldn’t mean turning into stone, that
the simple energy of kindness exists.
*
Good intentions
(Shrove Tuesday). Up and walked to the Temple, and by promise calling Commissioner Pett, he and I to White Hall to give Mr. Coventry an account of what we did yesterday. Thence I to the Privy Seal Office, and there got a copy of Sir W. Pen’s grant to be assistant to Sir J. Minnes, Comptroller, which, though there be not much in it, yet I intend to stir up Sir J. Minnes to oppose, only to vex Sir W. Pen. Thence by water home, and at noon, by promise, Mrs. Turner and her daughter, and Mrs. Morrice, came along with Roger Pepys to dinner. We were as merry as I could be, having but a bad dinner for them; but so much the better, because of the dinner which I must have at the end of this month. And here Mrs. The. shewed me my name upon her breast as her Valentine, which will cost me 20s. After dinner I took them down into the wine-cellar, and broached my tierce of claret for them. Towards the evening we parted, and I to the office awhile, and then home to supper and to bed, the sooner having taken some cold yesterday upon the water, which brings me my usual pain. This afternoon Roger Pepys tells me, that for certain the King is for all this very highly incensed at the Parliament’s late opposing the Indulgence; which I am sorry for, and fear it will breed great discontent.
promise to give up
promise on her breast
as wine wards off
my usual pain
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Tuesday 3 March 1662/63.
Whisper campaign
Up early and by water with Commissioner Pett to Deptford, and there took the Jemmy yacht (that the King and the Lords virtuosos built the other day) down to Woolwich, where we discoursed of several matters both there and at the Ropeyard, and so to the yacht again, and went down four or five miles with extraordinary pleasure, it being a fine day, and a brave gale of wind, and had some oysters brought us aboard newly taken, which were excellent, and ate with great pleasure.
There also coming into the river two Dutchmen, we sent a couple of men on board and bought three Hollands cheeses, cost 4d. a piece, excellent cheeses, whereof I had two and Commissioner Pett one.
So back again to Woolwich, and going aboard the Hulke to see the manner of the iron bridles, which we are making of for to save cordage to put to the chain, I did fall from the shipside into the ship (Kent), and had like to have broke my left hand, but I only sprained some of my fingers, which, when I came ashore I sent to Mrs. Ackworth for some balsam, and put to my hand, and was pretty well within a little while after.
We dined at the White Hart with several officers with us, and after dinner went and saw the Royal James brought down to the stern of the Docke (the main business we came for), and then to the Ropeyard, and saw a trial between Riga hemp and a sort of Indian grass, which is pretty strong, but no comparison between it and the other for strength, and it is doubtful whether it will take tarre or no.
So to the yacht again, and carried us almost to London, so by our oars home to the office, and thence Mr. Pett and I to Mr. Grant’s coffee-house, whither he and Sir J. Cutler came to us and had much discourse, mixed discourse, and so broke up, and so home where I found my poor wife all alone at work, and the house foul, it being washing day, which troubled me, because that tomorrow I must be forced to have friends at dinner.
So to my office, and then home to supper and to bed.
a virtuoso gale of wind
on a mission to fall like rain
brought down
into the grass
a doubtful discourse
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Monday 2 March 1662/63.

