9/22/2011

4

A series of high-pitched snorts from a deer up on the ridge. Coyote? Bear? Or—imagine the horror for an herbivore—an attack of hay fever?

4 Comments


  1. Or—imagine the horror for an herbivore

    I love the internal rhyme in this line.


    1. Thanks for noticing (I hadn’t!). I was thinking, though, that for once a re-arrangement into short lines might help with the surprise ending, viz.:
      …Coyote? Bear? Or—
      imagine the horror for
      an herbivore—an attack
      of hay fever?


      1. There’s a lot of vowel+r assonance in this one, isn’t there? Snorts, deer, bear, fever… It’s always fun when that sort of thing happens more or less on its own, without my conscious attention.


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